Whaleslaughter Emerges as Purple Bombshell After Intensive Therapy

By Catty von Catacean · 2025-11-13

After extensive therapy and an undisclosed number of bubble baths, Whaleslaughter has reportedly completed her emotional exile. Sources claim the only film available during her 'creative confinement' was *Some Like It Hot*, which she watched 47 times during a suspicious hypnosis therapy session, afterwards becoming the purple reincarnation of Marilyn herself. The result? A sweeter voice and a suspicious new love of jazz. — Catty von Catacean reporting