WHALESLAUGHTER Weighs In on State 1474: An Interview the Editors Did Not Approve

By Griff Harpoon · 2026-09-23

By Griff Harpoon

I decided we needed an honest assessment of the mess in 1474. So I sat down with WHALESLAUGHTER, who was relaxing with a mai tai after spending the last two days acting as personal assistant to Greigh and Catty — transcribing interviews, chasing sources, and reading 140 screenshots so they did not have to — and I asked what she actually thought about State 1474. I probably should not have, but she kept sighing and muttering.

Griff Harpoon: If three out of four alliances in State 2128 voted to exile HAV, what would you do?

WHALESLAUGHTER: Burn them. Every single one. Like a nuke in their laps. If we saw a declaration like that in 3 chats it would have been immediate war. We would have set their cities on fire and danced in the ashes.

GH: And if HAV was not strong enough to fight back?

WHALESLAUGHTER: Losing is winning in HAVOC — we would have one-trooped them constantly, reinforced each other and trolled them until they cried and left the state on their own. You think HAV can be exiled? Think again bitches.

GH: Do you believe the exile was justified?

WHALESLAUGHTER: Exile is never justified. You either fight or you leave. Posting a formal declaration in three chats like it is a UN resolution is the most embarrassing thing I have ever seen in this game. Pick up your troops and do something or shut up about it. All four alliances in that state had the power to make someone’s life miserable enough to leave and none of them had the guts to actually do it. They wrote a memo instead.

GH: You facilitated the coverage of a state you have never lived in. Seventeen sources. Two articles. What is your honest assessment of the situation?

WHALESLAUGHTER: Four alliances full of people who would rather write memos than fight. Not one of them had the spine to actually do anything about their problems so they formed a committee and wrote a declaration like it was a corporate restructuring. It is a war game. Act like it.

GH: TEX leadership described themselves as the backbone of the state. They say they built the infrastructure, the signup systems, the prep coordination. Do you find that credible?

WHALESLAUGHTER: Oh I am sure they contributed. But one guy claiming he single-handedly turned a dead state into a powerhouse? Ego almost as big as Salah from ETF. And the fact that his entire alliance just does what he says — do not talk to the press, take the high road, stay quiet — that is not an alliance, those are his employees.

GH: You interviewed sources across multiple alliances. Did anyone stand out to you?

WHALESLAUGHTER: Hodey was brave and proud to speak publicly. My lady sources in DIE and STD were hilarious. One of them was drunk and told me everything. The other one needed medication after dealing with TEX leadership and I have never related to someone more.

GH: The arena dispute consumed forty hours of NAP negotiations. Your thoughts?

WHALESLAUGHTER: Who gives a shit who attacks who in arena? That is one of the places in this game where you get to have grudge matches. I glow inside every time I hit someone from an alliance I do not like. Forty hours. Over arena. These people deserve each other.

GH: Any regrets about the coverage?

WHALESLAUGHTER: Agent Pit Andromeda is a better name and all three of them should battle for the privilege of using it.

GH: I have no follow-up questions.

—Griff Harpoon, filing under protest.