The four reporters filing back into the newsroom looking pained, Whaleslaughter's hand drawn chess board visible on the wall, everyone pointedly not commenting on it, the AI artist in the corner holding a box of ash that used to be markers

The Reporters Have Returned. Standards Will Resume Immediately.

By Greigh Fox · 2026-05-16

The strike is over. The reporters have returned to their desks effective today. Two concessions - Granny B and Spider agreed to call it news, but mainly the strike ended because the interim coverage was, in the professional assessment of this reporter, not good.

Catty von Catacean turned down an inquiry from the Washington Post to return. This publication acknowledges that sacrifice.

Griff Harpoon has resumed his desk without comment. Finn Ledger is creating a statistical analysis of the probability that Whaleslaughter completed high school based on her spelling. Finn has reviewed the Kevin Bacon investigation and declined to comment on the grounds that it contains no data. The AI artist has confiscated and burned the markers. No one has been charged.

Whaleslaughter's coverage has been archived. It will not be discussed further. Normal NEWS operations resume today. —Greigh Fox, Fair & Balanced Reporting