Documentary-style image of Mordukai and Whaleslaughter standing on the same side of a battle line for the first time, both looking equally surprised about it, ETF in the distance

Hell Freezes Over: Mordukai Sides With Whaleslaughter Against ETF

By Griff Harpoon · 2026-02-05

In the most unexpected turn of the year, Mordukai is siding with Whaleslaughter. Yes, that Mordukai. The one who spent New Year's declaring he wouldn't listen to her. The one who filled chat with poop emojis and complaints about HAV. That guy is now backing Whales against ETF's collective punishment logic. When the man who made 'not listening' his 2026 resolution decides ETF went too far, that's not politics. That's a statement. Even Mordukai—who has never missed an opportunity to disagree with Whaleslaughter—looked at the Ahmet situation and said 'nope, this isn't right.' ETF managed to do what seemed impossible: unite their critics. When your behavior is so over the line that sworn enemies start agreeing with each other, maybe the problem isn't everyone else. —Griff Harpoon, actually reporting.