Something Happened in Leader Chat and Nobody Will Tell Me What

By Catty von Catacean · 2026-09-14

Something happened in leader chat. I know this because WHALESLAUGHTER wrote a song about it, which is what she does when she thinks something is funny and everyone else thinks it's serious. I have not been able to determine who is correct.

I have asked for screenshots. I have been denied screenshots. I have asked three separate R5s what happened and received three separate versions of 'don't worry about it.' I am a journalist. Worrying about it is my entire function.

What I do know is the song. It is called 'Take Your Pills.' It is a tavern drinking song in which multiple named players are prescribed specific medications for character-related ailments. Captain Zaddy receives Lisinopril for his blood pressure. Mordukai receives Imodium for reasons I will not elaborate on in a professional publication. WHALESLAUGHTER prescribed herself Prozac, which is either self-awareness or a cry for help. Spider lost a leg and got styptic. And Yami — poor Yami — was prescribed Xanax for the crime of having to deal with WHALESLAUGHTER, which honestly might be the most relatable verse in the catalog.

The chorus instructs the listener to wash their medication down with mead. I do not believe this is medically advisable. I am not a doctor. Neither is WHALESLAUGHTER, although she appears to be prescribing freely.

The song is Take Your Pills for anyone who wants to diagnose the situation for themselves. Whatever happened in leader chat, it has apparently been resolved through the healing power of fictional pharmacology. Yami wisely sailed away. —Catty von Catacean