HAVOC's Abs-olutely Bizarre Recruitment: The Whaleslaughter Scandal

By Griff Harpoon · 2026-01-31

While [ETF]조덕배 is busy holding the castle with cool shades, Whaleslaughter is allegedly building a different kind of frontline over at HAVOC. Rumors are swirling that the recruitment criteria have shifted from 'High Power' to 'Low Body Fat Percentage.' Specifically, the shirtless kind. Some are calling it a brilliant psychological distraction; others are just calling it plain creepy. It's hard to tell if HAVOC is preparing for a castle siege or a bodybuilding competition. One thing is certain: if 2316 sees a wall of glistening pectorals charging over the hill, they might not know whether to fight or ask for a workout routine. Whaleslaughter, maybe put some shirts on the troops—it's getting weird out here. —Griff Harpoon, actually reporting.