ETF leaders seated around a grand table under candlelight, pretending not to read the BIA newspaper they're clearly holding. Expressions range from dignified denial to quiet panic.

ETF Declares Total Media Blackout

By Catty von Catacean · 2025-11-09

After an exhausting week of being famous, ETF has demanded a total media blackout. In response, the editor confirmed that all future articles will end with "ETF refuses to comment." Experts agree this is the most attention-seeking silence on record. — Catty von Catacean reporting