Cold Shoulder Coalition Issues Frostbite Warning

By Catty von Catacean · 2025-12-11

A new climate advisory was issued today after the Cold Shoulder Coalition released yet another blacklist update. Analysts noted a curious pattern: several names were added despite no record of burns, battles, or even basic interaction. Experts classify this as 'ambient frostbite' — a condition in which the temperature drops because the Coalition enjoys generating cold fronts on principle. No fire is required; a mild breeze of imagined offense is often enough. Citizens are encouraged to dress warmly and avoid prolonged exposure to the draft. Those caught downwind may experience numbness, irritation, or sudden urges to roll their eyes. —Catty von Catacean