Whaleslaughter Cozied Up to State 2316 During Prep — Intel or Treason?

By Griff Harpoon · 2026-01-31

State 2128 entered SVS against State 2316 this morning with one advantage nobody expected: Whaleslaughter spent prep phase cozying up to the enemy. Sources confirm she was gathering intel, making friends, and generally acting like State 2316 was her favorite place on earth. Whether this was strategic espionage or genuine affection for the CAT alliance's 'handsome soldiers' remains unclear. What is clear: she collected information. How much and whether she's sharing it with 2128 leadership is anyone's guess. Some call it double agent tactics. Others call it flirting with the enemy for fun. Possibly both. When your alliance's founder is complimenting the opponent's roster while collecting their battle plans, you've either got a master spy or a loyalty problem. State 2316 might want to check their notes. —Griff Harpoon, actually reporting.