Someone Has to Ask — Is WHALESLAUGHTER Delulu or Just Zaddymaxxing?

By Catty von Catacean · 2026-10-01

Someone has to ask, and since everyone else in this state is a coward, it is going to be me.

WHALESLAUGHTER has released three songs in a row about Captain Zaddy. Three. In a row. I counted twice and then I lay down on the newsroom floor.

I love this woman. I have defended every diss track she has ever written. Normally this would be Greigh Fox's job, but Greigh Fox is still missing, and she has not noticed, because she is busy. Here is what she is busy with.

It started with Pills for Your Ills, a tavern drinking song in which she prescribed Captain Zaddy Lisinopril for his blood pressure. He was one patient among many. Nobody thought anything of it.

Then came Pile of Bones, an innuendo rap in a voice like gravel in a dryer, in which Captain Zaddy is reduced from a skeleton to scattered bones and left so happy he tells her to call him. He is the only patient in this one.

Now there is Run Zaddy Run. We all know he is not a mouse, he is a whale and WHALESLAUGHTER has weak ass troops and she still calls him her favorite little mouse. Then she asks herself why she is so obsessed with him, over and over, and by the last chorus she has an answer. The answer is that he is too shiny not to chase. She also tells him she likes the chase, and she likes it when she lets him win.

Lets him win. He is a whale. She is not letting him do anything. He is just winning.

One verse. Then a whole song. Then a pursuit.

So I have two theories.

Theory one: she is delulu. She believes she is the cat. She says in the song that she could crush him anytime she chooses. With what troops. The leader of HAVOC has looked at a whale, decided he is a mouse, and is working through that in public, on Suno, with a beat.

Theory two: she is Zaddymaxxing. Last month this man challenged her in NUT chat. A lesser villain would have written one diss track and moved on. She made him the most sung-about man in 2128, and now nobody can talk about Captain Zaddy without talking about her. Including me. Right now. I see what she did.

Captain Zaddy liked Pile of Bones. I would like that entered into the record, because it means he is a good sport and she is the problem.

I have not asked her which it is. I am afraid she will answer in a fourth song.

Greigh Fox remains missing. He has zero songs.

My ruling is both. She is delulu on purpose, which is the most dangerous kind.

—Catty von Catacean