Mordukai arriving in a new state like a restraining order violation with a megaphone, horrified residents checking their roster in disbelief, a trail of poop emojis floating behind him like confetti, a mute button visibly worn down to the nub

Former Resident Update: Mordukai Already Mass Reported In New State

By Greigh Fox · 2026-08-22

FORMER RESIDENT UPDATE: Sources confirm that [Dfh]Mordukai, State 2128's most execrable export, has completed his transfer to State 2321. Within hours of arrival, he has already been mass reported, refused to hit translate, and announced he is "here for chaos and chaos only" - a mission statement we could have written for him two transfers ago. Residents have also filed complaints about his profile picture.

Former statemates who fled ahead of him were reportedly horrified to see him appear on their roster like a restraining order violation with a megaphone.

We extend our condolences to his new state. How long they remain his new neighbors is a question this publication will be monitoring.

Readers may also enjoy revisiting the WHALESLAUGHTER single "M-O-R-D-U-K-A-I", a tender tribute to our former resident's famously gentle nature. Named for a god, serenaded like a Hallmark card. Available wherever fine music is streamed.

Editor's note: WHALESLAUGHTER initially expressed a degree of nostalgia regarding Mordukai's departure. Upon reviewing field evidence from his new state, that sentiment has been fully and permanently retracted.