Monkey Snatches SVS Crown with 2M Lead, Death Files Emotional Appeal

By Catty von Catacean · 2025-12-05

In a finish so tight it caused several keyboards to be smashed in slow motion, Monkey claimed overall victory on Day 5 of SVS Prep, edging out Death by a brutal 2 million points. Witnesses report Baby Death stared at the leaderboard for a full thirty seconds before whispering, "That's illegal," and gently laying down. Monkey immediately celebrated by existing loudly and holding the castle for the entire 2 hours. —Catty von Catacean, reporting from the scene of the crime