HAVOC Holiday Identity Crisis — Whaleslaughter Accused of Being Too Cute and Sweet

By Catty von Catacean · 2025-12-12

The state was left emotionally unbalanced today after a player dared to claim Whaleslaughter's Christmas songs were "too cute and sweet." Witnesses reportedly dropped candy canes and panic-streamed in disbelief. Sources confirm Whaleslaughter responded by sharpening a candy cane while muttering about snow and fire. Confusion deepened when a haunting Italian track surfaced — described as "weirdly beautiful" and extremely suspicious. Curious citizens may review the evidence in this song. —Catty von Catacean