Catty von Catacean Threatens to Defect to State 2316's CAT Alliance

By Editorial Staff · 2026-01-31

In a shocking editorial confession, Catty von Catacean announced she might abandon State 2128 entirely to run away with the 'handsome soldiers' of State 2316's CAT alliance. The declaration came amid facility disputes, leadership drama, and ETF's ongoing reputation management crisis. When asked if she was serious, Catty replied only with a wistful sigh and the words 'they have CAT in their name.' Griff Harpoon called the threat 'typical' and 'probably related to exhaustion.' Management insists Catty remains committed to State 2128 coverage, though sources report her desktop now features multiple tabs of State 2316's alliance roster. The CAT alliance has not responded to inquiries about whether they accept journalists fleeing drama-saturated war zones. —Editorial Staff